Everyone has some areas or arenas in their life where they’ve made mistakes or been very disappointed with the end results of a situation. For me, there are two such areas, and in those two particular areas, I’ve seen failure after failure, with seemingly, no end in sight. So I began to give up.

When I say I began to give up, this means that I began to shut down any idea or any hope that I could ever achieve happiness regarding these two areas of my life. I actually got more reclusive as a result of my decision to give up. It was as if these two areas of my life encompassed my entire life, and I had nothing left to give. I didn’t sit around worrying about it, although, no doubt, I had done some measure of self-debate for years that could be quantified as worrying. I just figured I’d never conquer this area; never have a real victory in this particular arena, and stopped making any effort towards it. I stopped walking in faith in those two areas.

Something came to my attention a few weeks ago that I thought was interesting. I guess it was phase one of recognition on this issue. Someone that was preaching at my church said that the word worry has an old English root meaning “strangle.” My mind went instantly to weeds, and the trees of the mind theory.

I mean after all, grown trees don’t get strangled by weeds. They are already strong and have taken root. But the saplings, those new thought trees struggling to grow into maturity; those areas of our faith where we are fighting to hold on…those new trees of hope are the ones that the weeds can choke and strangle. It’s those areas of failure where we have to get back up and try again; where we have to see our failure as an opportunity for growth and a lesson God needed us to learn; those areas which have been tested, require new faith and can be strangled by worry; by despair, and that despair can kill your faith.

The preacher, who mentioned this strangling aspect of worry, said that in order to give your total trust to God, you have to read the word and believe. Ok. But that is not the issue, at least, not for me. I read the word, and I believe it what I read in it. The issue is not believing it. The issue is application of it. I mean honestly, I don’t see any of the biblical characters experiencing the exact same thing I’ve experienced in these two areas, so application then becomes something of a needle in a haystack. You get little bits at a time, and then your mindset starts to change. So still, it’s a process situation that you have to go through.

For instance, in Jesus’ time, there was this rabbi, Nicodemus, that was curious. Another of our pastors taught on this and it was very informative. Nicodemus was part of the largest religious, political party-the Pharisees. He was a ruler of the Jews, being part of the highest Jewish counsel of that time. He was a scribe, an expert in the law, student of the word, teacher of the law, and very religious. He was among the group that led in plans to kill Jesus, however, he was curious.

The book of John, chapter 3, verses 1-21 details a discussion that Nicodemus had with Jesus, after he went to him discreetly at night to ask some questions. Again we see Nicodemus in verses 32-53 of John chapter 7. In this time frame, the chief priests have sent men to take Jesus, and after Jesus speaks, many believe he is the Christ, but question his origins, coming from Galilee.

When the priests ask the men why they didn’t take Jesus, they answer that they’ve never heard anyone speak like him. Nicodemus is the one that asks the assembly if the law judges a man before knowing what he has done. Here, he was showing signs of belief, because clearly he was questioning everything he had known up to that point. He was questioning his life and what he had learned. So he has grown from being curious to doubting himself when faced with the truth.

In John 19:38-42, it was Nicodemus that was with Joseph of Arimathaea, who had asked for Jesus’ body. It was Nicodemus who brought the spices; a mixture of myrrh and aloe about hundred pounds of it, to dress Jesus’ body and wrap it for burial. The time frame between when we first saw Nicodemus being curious and this point was about two years. At this point, he was convinced. He had had enough time, and apparently had witnessed enough things to be convinced. What would convince you? And, how much time do you think it would take for God to build up enough trust in you to be convinced about that issue that you are still wavering on?