Hi All,

I know its been a minute since I posted in here, but don’t think I’ve grown bored. Actually, I’ve gotten more excited, because I’m discovering so many new options. The problem with options is that there are so many more variables contained in each new option. As if life wasn’t full of choices and decisions already, I’ve gotten to discover a whole new sector to maneuver through. Its amazing how there is never enough time in a day. It doesn’t seem to matter if you are working or not working. The fact of the matter seems to be, are you directed? Do you have a goal or a purpose? There are a lot of people who may be unemployed, and who, seem to be just sitting around wasting time. Some of those are actually sitting around wasting time – I refer to those sitting on a stoop drinking beer and playing cards; but others are actively involved in chasing a dream.

Because of this dream chasing status, it may appear that they are doing nothing  because they aren’t rushing to find another job, or panicking over their economic status. People…other people, tend to do more fussing over my situation, and do more to pressure me to get a 9-5, because they feel that is the answer. Personally, I don’t see the need to panic. I’m not in crisis, as everyone supposes, simply because I’m not working. I’ve got God. What me worry? And the one thing I know…and have known for some time now, is that God’s got me. He’s got my back. It’s just like having a husband that supports you. I could choose to be a worry-filled, whiny housewife, that moans and groans about everything, especially the inability to waste time and money shopping, but that’s just not me.

Frankly, I’m one of the handful of Americans, who have actually come to understand and appreciate my wealthy status as compared to the rest of the world. By US standards, I’ve got little to nothing. In fact, a couple of years ago, I had applied for assistance with an extremely high light bill. The results that came back were laughable to me. This commission, or agency, had calculated my income along with my bills etc; by whatever means they utilized for their calculations of a qualifying a household for assistance, and notified me that I had qualified because I was, at that time, 150% below “poverty” level.

When I found this out, I nearly died laughing. They said I was poor, and I have been saying for the longest time, that I have too much! I called my family and told them the news, still laughing, because I found it comical. I had no idea that I was even close to “poverty” levels, let alone below it, and at 150%! It was hysterical to me. And yet, all my needs are met. Sure, I lost the car. It died, for those who don’t know. And it was the car that God provided…free. Was I upset? No. I thought the timing was off…cause I had just gotten a field job with the census bureau that I lost as a result of the death of the car, but other than that…it was no big deal. The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away; all for God’s purposes and plan, which I have no problem with.

Right now, I’m actually enjoying not having the car. It’s less hassle because I’m not in traffic driving with visually impaired people who are road challenged. (And believe me, that’s the nicest way I could have put that.) My stress levels are considerably less, and I get to enjoy a bit of walking again, because I’m taking the bus. It’s far more relaxing because that pressure to rush everywhere and hurry to get things done is off of you. You stop trying to get a million things done in one day, and concentrate on 1 to 3 at the most. Riding a bus, time stops being such a big factor in everything you do, and so, it gets you closer to living in God’s timeframe, which is so much cooler, without time restraints.

Then again, the timing could have been perfect, because maybe God didn’t want me to stay in that job. I have since found out, through a friend who is still with them, that the census bureau is one of the most unorganized branches of the government. She only confirmed the confusion and chaos I saw in those three weeks I was with them, because it continued and got worse after I left. Their system of gathering the information is outdated to say the least, and their methodology is tremendously lacking in definitive direction. I can’t even understand how it is that they are responsible for gathering and maintaining information, because their operation seems so uninformed and is in such disarray. So actually, it may have been a blessing in disguise.

Plus, I still have time now, to do the research I’m doing. That’s what has been holding my attention lately, because I’ve come to realize that I need an agent. I do not want to attempt the self-publishing route on my next book, because it is a bigger chunk of me…much bigger. It’s much more indepth than  my first excursion into the book/publishing world, and I don’t want to make the wrong decisions in how it is presented. I don’t have enough experience and knowledge of that industry yet, to call the shots on it. Matter of fact, I am not a business mind…I’m a creative mind, so I need to hire some business minds and let them run with it. That’s my conclusion.

Publishing is not the only thing I’ve been researching, and not to say I didn’t research it before, but my perception is different now. I’m looking into several things, which brings me back to the problem of options. When you have too many choices, it gets harder to make a decision because outcome variables cannot always be accurately predicted. This is where your faith gets tested. This is where you have to pray and ask for direction.

I was looking at “self-directed” IRA’s, and I thought…if only one of these would say, “God-directed.” Personally, I really don’t want to self-direct anything, because I’m too much of a screw-up to hit the mark. I’ve got to have a higher up, preferably, the Highest higher up, to direct my feet and plans, because even with all the knowledge I’m gaining from all of this research; I still have to take all of this gained knowledge, and compartmentalize it and order it, and that’s huge…too huge for my brain. It’s overload. I’ve got too many other things to think about.

For instance…I need to focus on the next section of the study here on Isaiah, which I haven’t been able to focus on because of all this information congestion in my brain. I need to finish the next hub I started on “Will the Real Christians Please Stand Up 2. I need to focus on my next book to finish that, which is a serious amount of study and work still yet to be done. I need to get with a friend and fellow designer, who offered me a possible freelance income oppt, long-term. It’s all too much, and I’m not trying to race myself to the finish line, but one thing I have come to recognize: I’m only one person. I can’t do it all. I need to delegate, and hire some people to handle certain aspects of this business for me.

And then…oh gosh…try to throw any semblance of a personal life into the mix. This is why I can’t even think about dating…seriously. Who has the time? I still have a 13 year old to run behind, because he’s not applying himself in school…smart as he is. Additionally, as I briefly mentioned in passing above, I’m trying to declutter my place, because I’ve come to the conclusion that I have too much.  So when I started this blog, talking about lack of time…can you imagine? I’m not even working right now, and I have time organizational issues. Imagine if I had a 9-5! I’ve enjoyed the slowing down I’ve had to do, and getting to stop and appreciate life. Lack of the car and the job has caused a slow down in my pace and yet…still my work is never done. How’s time treating you?