March 28, 2008
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In the news
In the news
Apparently, I have ruffled some feathers. Not that it concerns me, but apparently some people were not pleased with this post. Suddenly, I’m getting reaction months after the fact because students found the post and told the teacher. Btw…note the date of that post. It was last year. Then someone came in and commented, telling me basically, that it was “unnecessary” and mentioning this woman’s pregnancy as a factor.
This person does not identify themselves in regard to their relational interest in the situation (I wonder about pseudonyms), but does attempt to endorse the teacher with a statement about her “caliber.” For the record, know that the teacher made public comments to my son about my post in her classroom, telling him to notify me not to write any more “lies” about her in my blog.
Now, it seems unreasonable and “unnecessary” to me for an adult to publicly comment in a manner meant to embarrass and humiliate their students, yet be so incensed when an equal posts public comments in regard to that person’s unethical behavior in defense of the child.
If she wanted to address me, she has my number and email, and could have contacted me herself, but clearly, she is using every opportunity to attack my son, so this is the manner in which she communicated her annoyance with me. We’re talking about a 12 year old kid and a grown woman whose responsibility is to teach without bias, and without using her position to influence or deter the personal beliefs of the children in their care. She should know better.
I realize that some children are a handful, and some parents don’t care, but I’m not one of them. I also realize that my son is a bit outspoken (gee, wonder where he gets that from), and he does need to learn tact, but he is still a kid, therefore, his lack of tact is to be expected at times. I don’t expect to see that from an adult who has a responsibility to teach and/or influence children. Therefore, the “caliber” that was mentioned in regards to this teacher is still in question due to her conduct.
I have no problem with defending what we believe in, which was blatantly attacked in her classroom, so for those with an issue concerning that defense…sorry, but that will not change.
Recently, my son told me that he addressed this teacher after school (sensible) and asked her why she was contradicting her statements (basically every time they were challenged or brought up by me), and he flat out told her she was lying, because she kept trying to deny statements she made to him in class. Her response basically, was how dare he, (a kid) speak to her about her conduct.
Now, like I said, my son does get outspoken at times, and I don’t say that to excuse him. He will call me to the mat if he thinks for a minute that I’ve lied to him about anything. He still needs to be respectful, but he tends to speak this way when he’s been offended or is stressed or upset. It is apparent to me that this teacher continually gets him in that emotional state. None of his other teachers have this sort of issue with my son. Their issues have mainly been whether or not he’s completing his assignments and paying attention in class, and sometimes his tendency to be a little overemotional, but there is no personal problem with him and any other teacher.
He told me that after this teacher returned from her maternity leave, she told the class that she was going to start over with them. He said she showed them pictures of her baby on the computer, which he said was very cute. I told him, if she is willing to start over with everyone, then you do the same; forgive and let the past go. Unfortunately, it does not appear that sentiment of hers lasted long.
He told me a day or so later, that she had worn a nice outfit, and he simply told her that she looked nice. He said the next day she came back and told him not to “comment on her body parts.” He came home highly upset, because he couldn’t believe she would say that when his intention was only to give her a compliment. He said, “I was just trying to be nice.”
When the bias against my son is to the point that he can’t even give a simple compliment to this individual without being subjected to some harsh, extreme response, then I have an obligation as a parent to get involved, especially now that he has apparently been banned from her classroom.
He was not allowed in there last week after he addressed her after school about her comments. It is more than obvious her actions are punitive in nature, and his banishment from her class had nothing to do with disruptive behavior, but only with the fact that he dared to challenge her about her conduct. At least he waited until after school to address her, which is more professional than her public displays in the classroom meant to humiliate him.
I have to say that her banishment of him from her class was actually a blessing, because I had already requested that he be moved to another classroom due to her obvious bias against him.
What I wonder about is the reason this teacher’s students were looking her up on the web, because that’s how they found my site. Was it to discover more about this “caliber” of hers? (Whatever their opinion on it may be…)
Additionally, it seems that it is a necessity to defend children being subjected to this sort of unprofessional and unethical conduct. It is also apparent that such defense becomes necessary when the children’s comments are not taken into serious consideration because they are children.
I know my son, and I know when he’s exaggerating and when he’s being truthful. I tend to ask him “What did you do before this…” in reference to whatever he’s telling me, so I can see if he initiated something that caused the reaction he received. There are parents out here that do communicate regularly with their kids, and know them.
Perhaps the public schools need to initiate a feedback mechanism, so that the school and school board can have a better idea what’s really going on in these classrooms. One would think that if enough children were stating a problem with the same teacher, it would need to be looked into.
In college, we do an end of the semester anonymous evaluation of the instructor for each class. The instructor has to leave the room, while the students write their evaluations and their grade on the teacher; and those evaluations are placed in an envelope and sealed. The instructor is required to submit these envelopes to the department head or dean/principal for review. If the instructor is the department head, then naturally, it has to go to someone higher.
Maybe this is a practice that needs to be instituted in the public grade school system as well for younger kids so that they can freely express how they feel about what they were taught, the teacher, and the classroom. These forms also allow for comments on how the teacher, class or instruction can be improved, and after these are reviewed by the superior, the instructor also gets to review them so they can make necessary adjustments.
I’m sure that my son is not the only child in that classroom that is subject to this unethical conduct of hers, (perhaps not as extreme as with my son) but perhaps the other kids are too afraid of her to speak up. She already threatened to fail my son, and to cause him trouble, so my son got to the point of not caring much about being afraid to speak up.
Since children’s voices are so rarely heard and so little attention is given to their concerns in public school, this might be a way to accommodate them, and address problems that administrators cannot see or that may be hidden.
I also don’t think that teachers should be punitively grading students because they don’t like their attitude, or the frustration the child may express when communicating with them. They are the adults, and should at least attempt to encourage better communication or attitude especially by personal demonstration. Their response is going to demonstrate that, and lead that child in adjusting their attitude or communication, or digressing and ultimately making it worse.
To just punitively grade a child because they express some frustration is not making the situation better. It only serves to frustrate the child more, especially because they are supposed to be graded on their school work, not their attitude. I say this in regards to attitude vs. disruption in the classroom, but still the adult can address the frustration in a better manner than just a write off with a bad grade.
Just my thoughts on the matter, and I don’t apologize for them. Some may think that my posting my thoughts on this is unnecessary, but the reason these things continue to be unaddressed is that no one speaks up…too afraid to rock the boat. I have “He who overcame the world” within, so fear has no place in my life, and I’m obligated to speak up for righteousness.
Perhaps some teachers need to be more wary of what they say to impressionable children. Just knowing that there are parents out here willing to address this sort of stuff might help.
Pray for this teacher and all teachers, because clearly, prayer is needed. Age has little to do with dignity and respect, and I see no reason why teachers that expect such can’t give it as well. Aside from that, prayer is so badly needed for the public school system and the children subjected to it. Peace and blessings.
Comments (8)
grr. I agree with you- and I’ve seen it. Teachers are sometimes the most insecure and abrasive people. They become teachers because they want to finally have the control that they so desperately desire.
Tell that teacher if she has a problem with a 12 year old, she needs to find works someplace else.
True. I’m glad I wasn’t public schooled. I’m sorry your son has been having problems with the teacher (or that the teacher was having problems with your son, rather) I think that’s simply sad.
It’s always sad when an adult is bested by a 12 year-old. But if the better person is a 12 year-old so be it.
Lonnie
I would consider seeing if he could be transferred to a different class.
Heather
Children should be treated well. God bless!
well you know i don’t think too highly of the school system as is.. this only goes to show some of the problems we are having in these public schools throughout the country. I think you and this teacher need to have a conference of some sort (even if you have to take the initiative to set it up) so that she will not continue to go after your son or poison other teachers opinion of him. i sat in a teachers room once and the stuff that goes on in those rooms are deplorable.
Thanks guys. He did get transferred into another class, so hopefully, he will now have a chance to be graded on his work only, as a professional teacher should do.
Aside from this, immediately after this post was put up, my son began to receive a number of threatening calls on his cell phone from some girls from his school, in conjunction with a girl who later told him she was 25 years old and a former student of this same teacher.
These girls claimed that they had been checking my site, and that I had been putting derogatory information up about this teacher daily. Untrue. First of all, it is not derogatory information if it is true. Just because these girls don’t agree with it has nothing to do with the truth of it. They are entitled to their opinions, just as I am; and likewise, I am entitled to write my opinions on any subject I want in my blog. This is the second and last post on the subject, since he has been moved to another class, and therefore, should no longer have any contact with, nor be affected by this teacher in any way.
The older girl, who I told sounded like a child, and these girls continually called my son over a dozen times, first pretending to be a psychiatrist or doctor of some sort, with the older one pretending to be the mother of the other two girls; then they called back pretending to be a cop and threatening my son with jail time for “over ten years.”
They threatened my son with police action if I did not remove this post within two days. Well, guess what? That’s not happening. He came to me very upset, and told me all of this, stating that he had informed the girls that he was not the writer of this blog.
They then called again, claiming my son had attacked two of the girls, calling them a “B” and hitting one of them in school. At that point I had had enough of it, and on that call, I took the phone from him and asked who I was speaking to.
The first girl claimed the above attack and that she would let me speak to her mother. Then the alleged “25 year old” came on the phone and tried to run the same game. (A note for all juvies who want to run game…it’s a real rarity to find a 25 year old that is the mother of a 12 year old from a middle school.) The first thing out of my mouth was, “You sound like a kid. I don’t believe you are anyone’s mother.” She then attempted to convince me that she was the mother and that my son had attacked the other two girls.
I asked her why no school report had been filed if this alleged attack had occurred at the school; to which she replied, “Oh, the girls just didn’t feel like filing a report, I guess.” So I told her, then why should I believe you?” At that point, she hung up the phone, because obviously, the jig was up. Amateurs!
At any rate, these girls need to know that their behavior constitutes harrassment, which I could file a police report about…it’s my option. Therefore, it would behoove them not to initiate any further problems or trouble with my son at the school or off school grounds.
To all of my friends and subscribers…your support is truly appreciated. Peace and blessings.
That’s terrible! I feel so badly for your son. I had a really bad experience with some teachers when I was a senior in high school, so I know how stressful it can make the learning experience. The sick thing was that I was in a private school – a Christian private school. There was a misunderstanding after I sprained my ankle and had to take time off from a class that involved a lot of standing. The teacher thought I was just skipping class, even though I had given an excuse note. She approached me in the lunchroom one day and basically berated me until I was in tears. I left even though she said she wasn’t done with me because she wouldn’t let me explain myself to her and I was afraid she would hit me. There was a huge backlash from the teachers (I don’t know how the heck they found out unless someone was going around spreading rumors about me). One teacher even started making up stories to make me sound as if I was a bad student that had authority problems. Even my so-called counselor was taking private things I had told her and used them against me (this woman also happened to be my pastor’s wife).
Things eventually did get cleared up and the teacher who berated me apologized and was obviously very remorseful for what happened, but the other teachers who were being catty and ganging up on me as well as smearing my reputation never said a word of regret to me. Needless to say, I left the church because I was so disillusioned by what happened and felt that the pastor’s wife owed me an apology, which she hasn’t given me to this day and most likely knows it’s why I left the church.
So I guess the point is that it’s not just the public schools, it’s the private schools as well. I think some teachers tend to get a superiority complex because they’re an authority figure. Obviously, the teacher that’s been giving your son a hard time is psycho to begin with, so it’s definitely making a scary combination there.
Also, I can’t understand why the heck little girls would be harassing your son about something that isn’t any of their business. Back when I was younger, we could care less about that kind of stuff. I’m just wondering who put them up to it or if they’re just doing that because they think harassment is fun. In my opinion, if they want to oppress your son by pretending to be adults then they should be willing to accept responsibility for their actions like adults.