Additionally, my current focus involves a bit of sacrifice concerning some goals and the general direction that I thought I was headed in...the fulfillment of my purpose; the full manifestation of my most predominant gifts known to date, and my own expectations.

So what’s going through my mind? Well, I admit, I was feeling some measure of despair. I was frustrated to some degree of the new load of additional work that one particular circumstance has now added to the already overloaded plate of my life.

Because of this issue, I’ve had to make major dietary changes that affect my entire household. These changes require that I pretty much make everything, and I mean every thing from scratch. Salt has to be minimized as well as sugar, which includes any products made with corn syrup, sucrose, L-carnitine and especially aspartame, which gives people brain tumors and can result in strokes.

These components are found in almost everything that is prepackaged. If it doesn’t have sugar, it has corn syrup and so forth. So the fact that I really don’t use much pre-packaged foods very much, didn’t really matter. Now I have to read the labels of every thing we consume, liquids included; and prevent the use of any product containing these ingredients for my son and myself.

So I was frustrated with the amount of hand preparation I have to do for everything eaten in our home, and we cannot eat fast food any more for that matter for the same reasons. (The only thing I might get away with is BK...a whopper.) Now, this is a good thing, mind you, because it’s certainly much healthier, but with the days growing shorter and shorter, time has become more of a commodity. The time it takes for both preparation and clean up is considerable, but necessary. So despite the fact that I prefer this healthier way and lifestyle change, it is limiting the little time I already had available to focus on my calling.

Additionally, I’ve had to increase my focus on my son because he needs me. I’m not complaining about that. He’s the most important thing in my life, so it’s not even in question that his needs supersede mine.

After years of wondering...answers are now coming. There were signs and symptoms, but now there is confirmation of at least one thing. My son has a hereditary condition that I suspected to some degree, that he had. This explains the struggle he’s had in school, despite being so bright.

There were signs and symptoms like I said. I already suspected he was gifted, because he tested a high level even in kindergarten; but he was struggling in school despite the intelligence I saw.

Finally, God arranged the circumstance wherein I could finally get the answer. Despite the diagnosis, I felt a sense of relief, because I thought it was somehow my fault as his parent.

So this discovery lead to many of the changes I mentioned earlier, because I’m determined not to medicate him. This sacrifice of my time and the dietary changes are working. Even academically, I’m seeing signs of improvement. Of course on all fronts, this is the result of giving up my time; days and weeks of this. So for once, I am looking forward to the start of the school year, so I can get a break.

So there I was, feeling a bit frustrated that I could not find the time to write. I thought about the books still unwritten or incomplete and the volume of ideas that just keep coming.

I thought about the issue that caused a major distraction for me last year; one which took about seven months to disengage and remove as an obstacle in my life. That distraction caused me to shelf the book I was working on, and I’m eager to get back to that.

Again in church within the past week, the call went out to not just come and get fed, but to find somewhere to serve. And I thought, I was working on that, but now, when will I have the time?  I also realized that not having a job at the moment is rather convenient to the adjustments I’m having to make; which would not happen if I was working because I’d never have the time.

I was feeling like I just couldn’t accomplish anything. I’ve been working on some goals for ten years, and I still feel like I can’t say much has been accomplished; or perhaps that I’m accomplished. So I was frustrated and feeling like my life was a waste.

Phl 4:19  But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

Two things caught my attention in this verse: shall supply and his riches.

There are several Greek meanings, but the word in this verse is plēroō which is a verb.

1) to make full, to fill up, i.e. to fill to the full
    a) to cause to abound, to furnish or supply liberally
1) I abound, I am liberally supplied
2) to render full, i.e. to complete
a) to fill to the top: so that nothing shall be wanting to full measure, fill to the brim
b) to consummate: a number
1) to make complete in every particular, to render perfect
2) to carry through to the end, to accomplish, carry out, (some undertaking)
c) to carry into effect, bring to realisation, realise
1) of matters of duty: to perform, execute
2) of sayings, promises, prophecies, to bring to pass, ratify, accomplish
3) to fulfil, i.e. to cause God's will (as made known in the law) to be obeyed as it should be, and God's promises (given through the prophets) to receive fulfilment

In the Greek, this word is a verb focusing around the words “Accomplish, Accomplishment” with it’s main meaning being "to fulfill, to complete, carry out to the full" (as well as to fill); and is translated "perfect" in Rev 3:2, AV; RV, "I have found no works of thine fulfilled before My God;" "accomplish" in Luk 9:31.
See COMPLETE, END, EXPIRE, FILL, FULFILL, FULL, PREACH.

(Note: Its strengthened form, ekpleroo, "to fulfill," lit., "fill out," is used in Act 13:33, of the fulfillment of a Divine promise of the resurrection of Christ.)

These words, “shall supply ” are listed 95 times in 90 verses of the KJV.

It also has a few other meanings which I will give you a brief synopsis of.

It also means in the Greek:

Exartizo:  (a verb) "to fit out," (from ek, "out," and a verb derived from artos, "a joint"), means "to furnish completely," 2Ti 3:17, or "to accomplish," Act 21:5, there said of a number of days, as if to render the days complete by what was appointed for them.
See FURNISH. In the Sept., Exd 28:7.

Teleo:  (a verb)  "to finish, to bring to an end" (telos, "an end"), frequently signifies, not merely to terminate a thing, but to carry out a thing to the full. It is used especially in the Apocalypse, where it occurs eight times, and is rendered "finish" in Rev 10:7; 11:7, and in the RV of Rev 15:1, which rightly translates it "(in them) is finished (the wrath of God). See END, EXPIRE, FILL, FINISH, FULFILL, GO, No. 5, PAY, PERFORM.

Epiteleo:  (a verb) epi, "up," intensive, and No. 3, is a strengthened form of that verb, in the sense of "accomplishing." The fuller meaning is "to accomplish perfectly;" in Rom 15:28, RV, "accomplish;" "perfecting" in 2Cr 7:1; "complete" in 2Cr 8:6,11; "completion" in the latter part of this 11th verse, which is better than "performance;" "perfected" in Gal 3:3; "perfect" in Phl 1:6. See COMPLETE, DO, FINISH, MAKE, PERFECT, PERFORM.

Teleioo:  (a verb) the word teleo more frequently signifies "to fulfill," while teleioo, more frequently signifies "to make perfect," one of the chief features of the Epistle to the Hebrews, where it occurs nine times. It is rendered "accomplish" in the RV of Jhn 4:34; 5:36; 17:4; Act 20:24.
See CONSECRATE, FINISH, FULFILL, PERFECT.

Pletho: (a verb) "to fulfill," is translated "accomplished" in the AV of Luk 1:23; 2:6, 21, 22 (RV, "fulfilled").
See FILL, No. 5, FURNISH, Note.

Ekplerosis: (a noun) means "an entire fulfilment" (ek, "out," plerosis, "a filling"), Act 21:26, of the "fulfillment" of days of purification.

Until I saw this, I had no idea that those two little words had so many different meanings and applications.

The other thing that caught my attention was the word “riches.” I thought about how God created everything, therefore He owns everything, and is well beyond our comprehension on the word “rich” in that sense. But, I thought about how most people perceive it...that God is “rich.” I tried to picture this from the position of the “storehouses” ideology that we often here in church, but it just wasn’t washing for me because that is a man-made concept that places emphasis on money and materialism.

Since I don’t conceive of God as materialistic like the god of this world, then that image just didn’t wash. I think what most people don’t understand, is that to be rich doesn’t mean that God has to supply me with money. That verse said, “his riches in glory, by Christ Jesus.” To me, that’s looking like “what,” “where,” and “how.” You see, by American standards, I don’t have much. I have “stuff,” in fact, much stuff that I’d like to get rid of, but not the kind of stuff anyone would quantify as signifying wealth. Yet I know that I am rich, and I know this, not because of what I have, but because of Who I have. The Who is the One who supplies everything I need.

In other words, technically, I have no real need for money. The only reason I receive it, is because it is simply a tool that makes it easier for a few things to get accomplished. Plus, God is not going to interfere with a system set up by a governing body, because He is the One who set up the concept of governing and gave mankind the dominion to do so on the earth. So He will work within the “confines” that we, as humans live within, but He doesn’t have to.

God doesn’t have to put money in my hands for my needs to be met. He can simply address it another way, such as with a bill. He may have a company review their records only to discover “an error” in their systems which indicate an overpayment on my bill, and eliminate the bill that way. Or He could have the company give me a credit for whatever reason. He could have people give me food, or make the gas in my car last twice as long.

There’s any number of ways that I cannot even fathom, that God can arrange things in my behalf, and frankly, my mind is too finite to even begin to comprehend all the ways and methodologies possible. All I know is that God’s got me, so I’m just fine. I’m good. I’m covered, and “what me worry?” So in reality, despite the fact that it may appear that I lose a few “earthbound,” material things, it wouldn’t matter because God can and will replace whatever I need. Not only can He, and will He, but He’ll do it bigger, and better than before...if...I’m faithful. How do I know? Well, let’s look at the word “riches” as in that verse.

Greek: ploutos (masculine noun)
    1) riches, wealth
a) abundance of external possessions
b) fulness, abundance, plenitude
c) a good i.e. that with which one is enriched

Rich, Riches, Richly, Rich Man:
is used in the singular

(I) of material "riches," used evilly, Mat 13:22; Mar 4:19; Luk 8:14; 1Ti 6:17; Jam 5:2; Rev 18:17;

(II) of spiritual and moral "riches,"

(a) possessed by God and exercised towards men, Rom 2:4, "of His goodness and forbearance and longsuffering;" Rom 9:23 and Eph 3:16, "of His glory" (i.e., of its manifestation in grace towards believers); Rom 11:33, of His wisdom and knowledge; Eph 1:7; 2:7, "of His grace;" Eph 1:18, "of the glory of His inheritance in the saints;" Eph 3:8, "of Christ;" Phl 4:19, "in glory in Christ Jesus," RV; Col 1:27, "of the glory of this mystery . . . Christ in you, the hope of glory;"
(b) to be ascribed to Christ, Rev 5:12;
(c) of the effects of the gospel upon the Gentiles, Rom 11:12 (twice);
(d) of the full assurance of understanding in regard to the mystery of God, even Christ, Col 2:2, RV;
(e) of the liberality of the churches of Macedonia, 2Cr 8:2 (where "the riches" stands for the spiritual and moral value of their liberality);
(f) of "the reproach of Christ" in contrast to this world's treasures, Hbr 11:26.

This is the meaning in that verse, which occurs 22 times in 21  verses in the Greek concordance of the KJV. However, there are a few more meanings I want to share with you.

Greek: plousios (adjective) Rich, Riches, Richly, Rich Man:
akin to "rich, wealthy," is used

(I) literally, Mat 27:57   When the even was come, there came a rich man of Arimathaea, named Joseph, who also himself was Jesus' disciple:
(b) as a noun, singular, a "rich" man (the noun not being expressed),  "the rich," "the rich (man);" plural, Mar 12:41, lit., "rich (ones);" "(them that are) rich," lit., "(the) rich;" Jam 2:6, RV, "the rich;" Jam 5:1, RV, "ye rich;" Rev 6:15; 13:16, RV, "the rich;"
(II) metaphorically, of God, Eph 2:4 ("in mercy"); of Christ, 2Cr 8:9; of believers, Jam 2:5, RV, "(to be) rich (in faith);" Rev 2:9, of spiritual "enrichment" generally; Rev 3:17, of a false sense of "enrichment."

Greek: plouteo (verb): Rich, Riches, Richly, Rich Man:
"to be rich," in the aorist or point tense, "to become rich," is used

(a) literally, Luk 1:53, "the rich," present participle, lit., "(ones or those) being rich;" 1Ti 6:9, 18; Rev 18:3, 15, 19 (all three in the aorist tense);

(b) metaphorically, of Christ, Rom 10:12 (the passage stresses the fact that Christ is Lord; see Rom 10:9, and the RV); of the "enrichment" of believers through His poverty, 2Cr 8:9 (the aorist tense expressing completeness, with permanent results); so in Rev 3:18, where the spiritual "enrichment" is conditional upon righteousness of life and conduct (see GOLD, No. 2); of a false sense of "enrichment," 1Cr 4:8 (aorist), RV, "ye are become rich" (AV, "ye are rich"); Rev 3:17 (perfect tense, RV, "I . . . have gotten riches," AV, "I am . . . increased with goods"), see GOODS, Note (3); of not being "rich" toward God, Luk 12:21.

Greek: ploutizo (verb): Rich, Riches, Richly, Rich Man:
"to make rich, enrich," is rendered "making (many) rich" in 2Cr 6:10 (metaphorical of "enriching" spiritually).
See ENRICH.

Greek: chrema (noun): Rich, Riches, Richly, Rich Man:
"what one uses or needs" (chraomai, "to use"), "a matter, business," hence denotes "riches," Mar 10:23, 24; Luk 18:24; see MONEY, No. 2.

Greek: plousios (adverb): Rich, Riches, Richly, Rich Man:
"richly, abundantly," akin to A, is used in Col 3:16; 1Ti 6:17; Tts 3:6, RV, "richly" (AV, "abundantly"); 2Pe 1:11 (ditto).

I don’t have to worry, just trust. Take my petitions to God, and then wait. See, that’s the hard part...the waiting, and it’s what most people can’t or won’t do. Instead of standing in faith with their eyes on the prize, (the prize being God) they focus on their possessions because they think those are rewards they gained from hard work.

2Sa 15:1 In the course of time, Absalom provided himself with a chariot and horses and with fifty men to run ahead of him.

Absolom provided himself with...
1. Purpose: He already had a plan or plot to overthrow David & God’s anointed.

Why?
1. He saw an opportunity because David fell short somewhere.

2Sa 19:8 So the king got up and took his seat in the gateway. When the men were told, "The king is sitting in the gateway," they all came before him. Meanwhile, the Israelites had fled to their homes.

Later we see where the king was sitting in the gateway where he was supposed to be, but earlier...

2Sa 18:24 While David was sitting between the inner and outer gates, the watchman went up to the roof of the gateway by the wall.

So while he was sitting there...

2Sa 15:2      He would get up early and stand by the side of the road leading to the city gate. Whenever anyone came with a complaint to be placed before the king for a decision, Absalom would call out to him, "What town are you from?" He would answer, "Your servant is from one of the tribes of Israel."
2Sa 15:3     Then Absalom would say to him, "Look, your claims are valid and proper, but there is no representative of the king to hear you."
2Sa 15:4     And Absalom would add, "If only I were appointed judge in the land! Then everyone who has a complaint or case could come to me and I would see that he gets justice."
2Sa 15:5     Also, whenever anyone approached him to bow down before him, Absalom would reach out his hand, take hold of him and kiss him.
2Sa 15:6     Absalom behaved in this way toward all the Israelites who came to the king asking for justice, and so he stole the hearts of the men of Israel.

Because David was not in position at the gate where he was supposed to be, he could not see what Absolom was doing.

Deu 19:17 the two men involved in the dispute must stand in the presence of the Lord before the priests and the judges who are in office at the time.

So Absolom tells the people that their claims are valid but there is no representative of the king to hear them. This is because David was not in the gate, and apparently, the watchman. Then he says “If only I were appointed,” he wants to usurp God’s anointed and rule himself. “Then everyone who has a complaint or case could come to me and I would see that he gets justice.”

It’s interesting that this attitude of ingratitude came after this:

2Sa 14:14 Like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be recovered, so we must die. But God does not take away life; instead, he devises ways so that a banished person may not remain estranged from him.

Isa 43:25       "I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.
Isa 43:26     Review the past for me, let us argue the matter together; state the case for your innocence.

Isa 1:18      "Come now, let us reason together," says the Lord. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.

The gate was the seat of judgment, but David wasn’t sitting there because he was guilty of sin. By being out of the seat of the gate, David was no longer operating in his position as gatekeeper. This means that he wasn’t getting the watchman’s report either. We don’t even know if there was a watchman still on the roof, but the may have been because Absalom went down the roadside.

2Sa 15:5     Also, whenever anyone approached him to bow down before him, Absalom would reach out his hand, take hold of him and kiss him.

When Absolom bowed like this, it was a sign of reverence and respect, as well as a sign of restoration, meaning that he would restore them. And no wonder he won their hearts. He did this for four years.

2Sa 15:7 At the end of four years, Absalom said to the king, "Let me go to Hebron and fulfill a vow I made to the Lord.

What was the vow?

2Sa 15:8      While your servant was living at Geshur in Aram, I made this vow: 'If the Lord takes me back to Jerusalem, I will worship the Lord in Hebron.

If the Lord takes me back to “teaching peace,” I will worship the Lord in “association.”

By making this vow, he was saying that he would respect God’s choices and his anointed, because he said he would worship the Lord in “association.”

Yet immediately as the king released him to go in peace to fulfill his vow, he sent spies forth to proclaim his leadership, and his uprising against David kicked into gear.

This occurred at the end of 4 years which indicates that it is spirit led. (See Cycle of 40 study which also incorporates the number 4). Absolom sealed his fate by violating a vow to God, and in addition, David, God’s anointed, had to be returned to the throne.

My mother’s birthday was this weekend; Saturday to be exact. I forgot to call her until Sunday. But let me backtrack a bit. First of all, I came home from a very good business meeting Friday night, to discover that my window had been blown in.

For those who haven’t been keeping tabs on me in twitter or face book, my front kitchen window got busted about a month ago by a neighbor’s kid from two buildings away. The parents, who you could look at and tell aren’t the responsible type, wanted to tell me it’s an accident and be off the hook.

I told them that that was not my problem, the broken window is, and that they would have to take it up with the owner. The following day, I called the police, because I just had a feeling, you know? I just felt that I needed it documented. Sure enough, I was right, because although the woman admitted responsibility to the officer, they have done absolutely nothing towards getting the window fixed.

The owner went over several times and spoke to them, and at first, he thought they would take care of it, because he knows their family. The last time he went there, her brother or the father of the kids got loud and belligerent with him, and apparently scared him to some degree.

I caught the kid in our yard again after already warning him to stay away by threat of calling the police, and my friend went over and spoke to her about it. Later, her brother also came over and got loud and belligerent at my door about my friend coming over to speak to his sister, even though my friend clearly told her he was not trying to be rude. I simply called the police, who then got her complete name for me for the owner, and informed them that their kids were not to be trespassing for any reason on the property where I live.

So needless to say, these people lived up to exactly what I saw in them, and have done nothing to replace the window. I called the owner, who intends to sue them, and told him on Saturday that I cannot have the window open like this, as it is a security threat and we are in storm season. I told him I would have to notify a government agency if it did not get replaced immediately.

He called Sunday and gave me the name and number of the guy who he hired to replace the glass. That guy came by yesterday. So that was the start of the crazy weekend. I’m not done with this subject, but I’ll be back to it.

Then Saturday, I’m home with my son, and we decided that we needed some more bread, as we wanted to make some sandwiches; and maybe some milk and baking soda for the kitty litter. I wanted my son to walk around the block and basically across the street to Walgreens to get it. He insisted that he wanted to ride his bike to the grocery store down the street, because he said he needed the exercise and was tired of being in the house.

Since he had been before several times without issue, I okayed it, and he left. Little did I know that he went on the bike in flip flops. Naturally, he had an accident. According to him, the bike tire slipped on a puddle somehow and he went down in an awky way on his foot, injuring his big toe.

I couldn’t understand this because it was 95 degrees in the shade that day, so I’m wondering where he could have possibly encountered a puddle of water, because I couldn’t see how any puddle could have survived that humidity. It had rained the night before in Miami, while I was at the meeting, but I never noticed any remnants of rain when I got home, and it didn’t rain afterwards, nor the next day at any time.

So if there had been a puddle it had to be in a pothole in the road, and logic would question why he would ride through a pothole. Nevertheless, whatever happened, my son came home with a severely swollen big toe which looked like it could possibly be broken.

Not wanting to face the possibility of a $2k bill in the emergency room, I waited and iced his foot for the night. If it was broken, it wasn’t an unusual looking break with any funny position or protrusions. So I waited until the following day, and just kept it wrapped and iced. So needless to say, we missed church on Saturday night, and I missed my Freed-up financial class at church on Sunday morning.

However, about midday on Sunday, I realized that the swelling had not gone down any. I tried checking to see if any clinics were open, as Medicaid had disowned me like an unwanted stepchild, and I had yet to file the application for the Florida Kid Care program. It suddenly occurred to me to file it immediately, so I went online and did an application, getting a confirmation number if needed. Since the county’s general hospital has to take everyone, regardless of insurance coverage, I took lil man there; and upon xrays and exam, we discovered, (expensively I might add) that his toe is not broken.

They did tell me that he may have a small fracture or hairline fracture and that their xray machines can only pick up large ones. Their radiologist could better identify that in the morning, but I figured having me come in in the morning to check was their way of getting me into the financial office to see about payment.

Since they only took a signed document from me authorizing them to check with DCF on my Kid Care application, I didn’t want to rock the boat. I figure I can follow up with a doctor at one of the clinics my friends referred me to. My son has been walking around with the splint, and not complaining about his leg, so he’s fine.

So back to the front window. After the guy showed up yesterday to measure the window, he left, with us thinking that he was going to go get the glass and return later in the day. So we took all the taped up broken glass out of the window, as part of it was falling down anyways, and it was really windy yesterday, so it kept getting blown in.

Now yesterday was another issue I almost forgot about. Fire rescue, an ambulance and the police showed up yesterday morning. I looked out my window and saw them, and thought it was another issue with the newborn next door.

Later, my lights started flickering and I went outside to see if FPL was working on something, as it wasn’t raining. Turns out, a palm tree in the back was touching the line, and it was firing off like a canon, sending my neighbors from the back apartment running to the parking lot in fear.

We called FPL, and their attitude was a bit too relaxed for me. They indicated that they would send a truck out whenever one happened to be “in the area,” and “available.” Well that could be all day! We had fireballs running along the line, and this was their attitude. So...I called channel 10 and reported it.

Well next thing you know, a truck shows up 20 minutes later from FPL. They turned off the power and just disappeared for about 3-4 hours. So we had to go outside, where at least it was a bit windy, and certainly cooler than the sauna that was the inside of the apartment.

All that was fixed, but my son and I went without the electric for hours more because we expected the window guy to come back with the glass. After several calls and messages to him, he called back to say that he had to order the glass, and might possibly be able to get it today to put back in the window.

So I sent my son to the storage room to find the longest cardboard box he could find, so we could stuff that into the window and be able to turn the ac on without so much air floating out.

Well that worked, but we couldn’t close the blinds, so there went privacy, and I woke up this morning to a thunder storm. Great. And look what I read as I start my inspiration for the day:

Welcome problems as perspective lifters. My children tend to sleepwalk through their days until they bump into an obstacle that stymies them. If you encounter a problem with no immediate solution, your response to that situation will take you either up or down. You can lash out at the difficulty, resenting it and feeling sorry for yourself. This will take you down into a pit of self-pity. Alternatively, the problem can be a ladder, enabling you to climb up and see your life from My perspective. Viewed from above, the obstacle that frustrated you is only a light and momentary trouble. Once your perspective has been heightened, you can look away from the problem altogether. Turn towards Me, and see the Light of My Presence shining upon you.

I just thought this was funny, because when I went back and looked at all that has occurred in the last four days, it just looked like one could perceive it as a mountain, or maybe several mountains of problems, but I never looked at it that way at all.

My friend Jemma says I’m the calmest person she knows. For me, everything is just a part of the flow of things to be dealt with, and really no big deal. Again, for those who don’t know, my motto is, “God’s got me. What me worry?”

So let it storm. I know that He will keep the wind and rain from hitting that open window, until that glass gets replaced. He will take care of that $2k hospital bill, which is why I went ahead and took my son without a lot of worry. The electric was a simple fix once the news station was called, but of course, FPL tried to cover by claiming a need for more "resources" to fix the problem. Whatever.

Plus, I got a chance to talk to my neighbors, and do a demo for each of them, showing them the fantastic product my company has put into the market. It all works out. I’m like Seinfeld...“Even Steven.” Actually, I’ve got it better than that...I’ve got God, so my situations always work out better than just breaking even. Peace and blessings.

I found this interesting because for a lot of people, their world is spinning right now. Financial matters have become extremely stressing and pressing. I’m not working but I don’t feel stressed nor pressed. God had things set up and in place for me long ago, and all I had to do was simply consult Him and follow through on the ideas and thoughts He placed in my mind.

My world doesn’t spin, in part, because I don’t worry about things. I’ve learned to trust in God and lean on Him. The other reason, which correlates to the whole trust issue, is that since nothing is mine on this earth, and all things belong to God, what me worry? It’s not my stuff.

Part of many people’s problem is that they think they are working hard for stuff they think is “theirs.” People don’t seem to realize that we were born to work, and some way or another we all will. If we don’t, scripture says that if a man doesn’t work, he doesn’t eat. However, I want to add to that just a bit. If a man doesn’t have faith, and consult the Master about how to handle money, he may not eat either.

Some people don’t consult God at all about money. They think He has nothing to do with that. Fact of the matter is, our relationship to money is a direct reflection to our relationship with God and has eternal consequences. You can’t be right with God and wrong with money.

I may not have much money coming into my house currently according to the market or by whatever standards people use to assess such things, but what does come in is more than enough.

And the thing is, when I need more, God just opens up a can of miracles and it’s blessing upon blessing upon even more blessings, ‘til I have non-Christians saying, “You are one “lucky” s.o.b.” I have to tell them, it’s not luck. I’ve never been lucky one day in my life. “Get it right,” I say, “I’m blessed, not lucky. I’m blessed because I’m God’s child and I trust Him.”

The world is whirling around us. It’s spinning faster and faster, and we are drowning trying to keep up with time. Frankly, I stopped trying to keep up with it. All these deadlines, and the pressures to produce in a “fast paced environment,” is just not for me.

My focus is on God and whatever doors He opens for me, is not only fine with me, but I will happily walk through, because I know that He has my best interests at heart.

So whatever is happening, I’m chill. Recently, some issues came up with my son. Most parents would be beyond boiling over this. I was a bit upset initially, because I was surprised and disappointed in my son’s behavior.

This same problem has occurred several times now, and I’ve come to the conclusion that my responsibility is not to blame myself, but to take action that forces my son to take responsibility and accountability for his own actions and choices. Part of the impression I must make is to demonstrate to him the potential end result of his current set of bad choices.

So I have. I took a radical approach which drew some criticism from my mother, but I expected that from her. First it was, I had done too little and let things go too long, and then five minutes later, I was being too extreme in my approach to the situation. That is neither here nor there. The only thing that matters is that I made a strong impression on my son that will make him rethink his current path and behaviors.

I didn’t let the situation spin out of control, or whirl around me and I stand around acting helpless. I prayed and took action. A good male friend had made a suggestion on how to deal with it, but he says I took it five steps further, and the thing is, I wasn’t angry making that decision. I’m not stressed in any way.

In fact, I took a stress test on face book in one of their apps, and according to that (and who knows how accurate this foolishness is) my stress level is at 3%.

The other thing happening is that I should have a car by the end of this week. My friend Deb & “the cousin” Jemma made this wonderful arrangement for me.

In my new business, they offered us a chance to upgrade our level in the company. I had considered a small upgrade to the gold level, because I’m currently at the silver level, but I didn’t see it as really affordable.

Miss Jemma suggested to both Deb and I that I purchase Deb’s parent’s former car, which was sitting in her driveway, and which she was paying $65/mthly to keep insured. We checked the value of the car, and it prices between 3-5k in Kelly blue book.

Long story short, the offer was an upgrade to platinum in the company for the price I would pay for the car, which was 1k, which is actually the price of the platinum upgrade.

I was thrilled, and accepted, but about 3-4 days later, there was a hick-up in the arrangement. My paying the 1k for the upgrade would have automatically caused Deb an upgrade due to her meeting the requirements for such, my upgrade being the final one. So we would have had two upgrades with one car payment, and I would have also had the car free and clear. Amazing, right? But, Deb missed her deadline due to an unexpected email of extension from the company, which confused the entire plan quite by accident, because of other things forgotten in consideration of this news, like her 56 day deadline for her upgrade.

So Miss Jemma told me that she might not be able to get me the upgrade as well as a result. I was fine with it, because I had already gotten a break on the insurance after an error in which I was put in a high risk level by accident, and this was corrected already.

To get the car for the 1k alone was still a great deal, so I didn’t mind. Now, word is, Deb went to bat on the phone all day, and may have worked out a gold upgrade for me as well, which is what I was originally considering anyways. So it all works out. It’s like Jerry Seinfeld with the “even Steven” thing, except, I always seem to come out much better than just even.

Again, none of us fretted too much over the situation. We just prayed and left it in God’s hands to work out. I’m satisfied with whatever He chooses. That’s what everyone needs to learn to be...satisfied.

I'm an air force brat, and we were stationed in Okinawa, Japan. I was about 5 years old, and I was riding my big bike with the training wheels, around the block. Our block went uphill on the next street and I was on that street when I encountered the teenagers. A group of boys began chasing me on my bike. I was so scared that I pedaled really fast downhill, trying to get to my street.

As I hit the right turn, I never hit my hand brakes and the bike tipped over. My head struck the concrete siding of the pavement in front of my neighbors yard and busted my head wide open. I was screaming, and my neighbor, who had been mowing his lawn, saw me fall and came running. He took off his sweaty tee-shirt and placed it on my bleeding head, then lifted me and carried me home.

The next thing I remember was in the emergency room, and my mother, a nurse, had told me the usual: "It will hurt, but it won't kill you," which is a swell thing to tell a scared child with a busted head. You can imagine my fright, but let me tell you about it. It was actualized in the process of these events.

They had me laid out on the bed where they were going to stitch me up. I was screaming and fighting for my life, because I was petrified. It took 6 of them to hold me down, and imagine; I'm in an air force hospital, where they are in uniform. So I kicked off a private's hat; and in the process of them trying to contain me, I grabbed the tie that one of the male nurses had foolishly worn into the children's dept of the hospital, and pulled like my life depended on it. I nearly choked the poor man to death.

Then they put a black thing, like a large piece of felt over me. It had a hole in one place, and that was over the area to be stitched, which was right above my left eyebrow. Naturally, to see this black sheet going over me and being unable to see anything, made me scream even more. On top of that, I was feeling them stitching my head, but could see nothing. It was awful, and left me with a scar on the left side of my forehead.

The next scar came when I was in my early twenties. I was working for the post office at the time, and had developed a hereditary cyst on my tailbone. The docs called it a pyroniral (spell checker please) cyst, and in the note they wrote to excuse me from the job, they described it as a pyroniral sinus.

The first treatment was to lance it, which was not at all pleasant, but unfortunately, that did not get it all out, and it grew back again. Understand that with this sort of cyst, you can't sit down comfortably at all. The pressure on the tailbone when you sit is unbearable, so you twist and turn, and try to sit on your hips, or sit forward on the edge of your tush and legs.

So I went and had the surgery. Entering the surgery room was uncomfortable for me because you're in this thin  gown, with an open back. They had training techs in the room to observe the surgery, so that made me more uncomfortable, because they wanted to shift me from the bed they rolled me in on, to the table. Naturally, this shift was complicated by the loose open gown, and my ability to stay somewhat covered in all the important places was in jeopardy.

The worst thing about all of that, was that a brother was standing in the room as one of the observers. I did not perceive anyone there as a regular person; I did not see anything but doctors until I saw that brother standing there. Here I am  having to roll over from my back to my stomach onto this table, while keeping the front of my gown close to me with one hand; and at the same time, trying to keep my back end covered; and I've got a big brother (and I'm not talking about a brother in the Lord) standing there observing me. And of course, this thought rang through my brain as I was going under; "They will have my back end uncovered to do the surgery, and he will be right there the entire time gettin' an eye full. I was so embarrassed.

After the surgery, I had to take sits baths as part of my recovery for about two weeks, to let the wound drain, and then be re-bandaged. This was a daily procedure about twice a day. After all of that, I finally was able to return to work after the stitches had been removed. As I returned to work, I remember going to the time clock, and having people walking up to me, looking right into my face and inspecting me.

Finally, I asked someone what their problem was, because it was so intrusive. Several at the time clock started discussing me, and one guy walked up to me, looked me dead in my face and said, "Yeah, she had a nose job and it looks good." I couldn't believe it. My managers had violated my privacy rights and had been discussing my absence with employees. They had concluded from the word "sinus" in my paperwork, that I had had a nose job. So despite the x shaped scar on my tailbone area, I had to contend with that, and try to tell people I had not had a nose job. Nevertheless, according to them, my nose looked too perfect and they were convinced that I had the nose job and just didn't want to admit it.

The last time I got scars, my son was five years old. For six months prior to this incident, he told me via scary monster dreams, that something was coming; something was going to happen to me. He couldn't explain it well. He couldn't articulate it, but almost nightly, he woke from a dream that told him that someone or something was trying to take me away from him.

Being that I have a dream gift, and being that it activated for me at the age of five, I noted the repetitiveness of these dreams, and took them seriously. Since I've written quite a bit here, I'll give you the short version of the story. It is described here. 

After I finally became convinced that I had Him in my life (this was in my early 20's), I still never recognized that He really loves me and accepts me just as I am, in spite of myself. So I still had the same relational, or relationship issues as before because I really didn't believe I was lovable. I never had total acceptance at home, and I was a runner; meaning that in my relationships, at the first sign of problems, I bolted. I figured I'd do an exit before my feelings got hurt, or the person decided to completely reject me for whatever reason.

You always hear that God loves you...God loves everyone, but that's sort of a generalization that we constantly hear. For someone to hear that and accept it is way different than accepting that personally about yourself. To put that into first person gives it a different resonance, and sometimes applying the hope and promises of God is difficult for the conscious mind to accept, especially when you think that you have to be worthy. When you are dealing with institutions and exposed to information from those institutions that dictate "obedience" as its foundation in all it's teachings and instruction, then you come to believe that when you fail or fall short of that, you are not earning the right to have God's love and acceptance. In that situation, guilt and shame can cause you to deem yourself as unacceptable,  or unworthy of anything from God, and you might see uncontrollable situations in your life as evidence of this thought.

Since I recognized that I was a sinner, and in this imperfect earthly body, I was incapable of "cleaning up my act," I guess I basically felt that I could not or would not ever be able to earn God's complete love because I just couldn't get it together. I didn't understand that I could do nothing without Him, because I don't have control of anything. I didn't understand that God's love is limitless, number one, and is not based on works, number two; which basically means that it doesn't matter what I do, or how I fail or fall short. What matters to God is what I believe...He's more interested in my faith.

Of course, we are required to strive towards the mark of being more Godlike in our attitudes, thoughts, and behavior; to transcend our earthly existence, ushering in the kingdom of God into the earth. However, this requirement is not the most important thing to God. He's more interested in and concerned with relationships, and especially, our relationship with him. He doesn't want us to put up walls or keep our distance when we fail and fall short. He doesn't want us to have a spirit of judgment. Having this spirit causes contentions with others and breeds guilt and shame in ourselves. He wants to restore us to Himself and others, and does not want us to run from Him because of guilt or shame due to some situation that we didn't handle well.

It actually took a former friend to convince me. It's funny that she was the person who accomplished this feat...convincing me that God loves me, because she would later walk away from me in judgment because I failed to rise to or maintain her expectations of me in a certain situation. She contradicted her own testimony with this judgmental position. Fortunately for those who believe, God will not leave you because you fail to meet His expectations, because it is our faith that saves us, not what we do or our works. I think that was my deep-seated fear...that He would leave me because of something I may do that doesn't line up with His word. When I discovered that  He really loved me unconditionally, and would not ever leave me; when I realized that He would always love me and really cares about what I believe no matter how much I may fail Him as a sinner, I was sold. I absolutely fell in love with Him, and He's been the most wonderful blessing of my life ever since.